Penのジャンクヤード

Hello!

 

Once again.... you are back in my brain...

 

 

What is so contradicting about life? Well... just the title of this is already contradicting what I really want to put in the title... and I didnt.

 

Being part of our society today, we have no choice but to live a life of contradiction. What makes us special and unique compared to others? Why are we comparing to others in the first place? Not everyone likes to be compared to someone else unless that person beleives, he or she is somehow superior in one way or another, which automatically boasts confidence for that person. In this world, it is a game for winners and losers. You dont want to be a loser, then you must be superior one way or another, resulting you as a winner.

 

If this world marks its winners and losers at 50/50, then half of the world are losers and the other half winners. Why at 50/50? If there is a loser, there is a winner. For X losers there are also X winners. Which side of the population are you on? So what does this mean? Are there always only 2 sides of the coin?

 

The answer is NO! Of course with an answer like that, we must have conditions over the certain individual not to live in a 50/50 world... and that is for him to disassociate with the rest of the world. No one else but person A. Person A has no one else to compare him or herself to, but that doesnt automatically make him a winner. Person A will only be a winner if there is a Loser. No Loser, then no winner.

 

Now if you have a choice, would you rather be a loser in a world full of winners? or would you choose to be neither a winner or loser and only be yourself, by yourself and only yourself?

 

I think anyone will choose choice one. Being a loser is not a great feeling at all, then why do we choose it? Because we are able to compare. As human beings, one of the most feared things are and are not limited to only have no money, but loneliness.

 

Loneliness is not only limited to a romantic parter, family or friends, but also people we do not know, people who walk on the street, people who sits in a cinema while you watch a movie. We do not know those people yet we need them around. Contradiction.

 

Being in the cruel cruel world, even as the cold wind blows freezing our ass as we make our way to work every morning, the only thought that commonly arises in anyone's head, "I dont want to go to work today..." Yet, we get to work and say Hello to every fake in the office as though the lottery has been won.

 

And For those who dont work, most would want to get a job. But does what job matter for those who dont have a job? Yes. For example, If you work in Maccas earning $5/hr, you know you are not working in the best paying job in the entire world. Yet, you will not go become a Garbo which can earn you 4-5x's higher than what you can earn in Maccas.

 

Although we are able to make many comparisons and can make very logical analysis for what we really want, yet we do not attempt to even action our wants.

 

You want money, but you dont want to be a Garbo...

 

 

 

this may appear to be an arguement to some, but however random and bullshit it may sound, it comprise only of truth.

It may not apply to everyone as not everyone's circumstances are the same.

 

 

 

brain overloaded...

 

problems...

 

work load lvl up...

 

sleeping hrs decrease...

 

fun? long time no see...

 

life cycle on repeat... content? take out mental and physical conflicts = yes...

 

status: social contact 1% work contact 99%

 

average time usuage per business day:

 

work related - 12-13hrs

 

sleep - 5-7hrs

 

tiredness % = work related time/ sleep time * 30

 

To My Angel-girl,

 

 

I want to say thank you and sorry. Thank you for the times you have been there for me, and sorry that I have left you. I regret what has happened in the past and wish you will forgive me. I hope that when you do see this, you will know that I will soon try to relief the pain I have place upon you.

 

I am touched to know what you have done for me. I felt happy that you were there even without knowig you were. I also feel very sad that I have left you and can no longer show you my love and affection physically. You will always be in my heart and I hope you will know how I feel where ever you are now.

 

Before anyone makes a comment, I would just like to clarify that My Angel-girl is someone I have lost, not an exgf or lover but someone very dear to me.

 

 

From your special someone.

In the midst of sudden confusion, I have before me this question... "to know or better not to know"? finding out harmless lies can be quite an impact even though it is harmless, but on a deeper thought, it is a lie. A harmless lie which was supposedly to keep you from reacting in an abnormal way or a dramatic way... is that good or bad? Sometimes... life is like this... is the truth really that important? can it deteriorate people's relationships? Is it for the better or for the good? its a thin line... but im still hung over the top...and... should i confront this truth to the liar? what is good for me, i really dont know anymore...